Freedom from Fear

Tablet and Tea!

My hubby bought me a Wacom drawing tablet for my birthday and I am loving it! 

I’ve been wanting one since I first learned of their exisitance in highschool, but it always felt like too extravagant a purchase until I finally decided to be brave and take my talents seriously. I remember a friend once offered to lend me her wacom bamboo tablet and I was immediately flooded with fear and turned her down. What if I broke it? Or worse, loved it so much that I’d be heartbroken to return it? What if she wanted to see the artwork I made with it, and thought it was terrible? It’s amazing to me now to look back and see how much fear and anxiety really controlled my life, at a time when I liked to think of myself as a bold person. Now I know that being brave enough to try and possibly fail is where lies strength.

After just a couple of days practising I’m really starting to feel like I’m getting the hang of it. I can’t wait to share the digital paintings I’m working on! 

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2 thoughts on “Freedom from Fear

  1. Yes, fear of failure is an insidious one, as it can sneak up on you and wear the guise of many other things. Every new thing we do must have an initial failure period, otherwise we’d already know how to do it, but we all have this silly belief that not being good at something from the start is a sign we shouldn’t do it. Just how are we to go from not knowing how to do something to being good at it without repeatedly failing at first? Failure and then comparing our failure to our desired goal is a necessary part of the learning process, yet we’ve conditioned ourselves to avoid failure. We should welcome it, seek it out even, because only by passing though our failure stage can we become good at it. Good luck, and I hope you fail at using your Wacom tablet a whole bunch of time! ๐Ÿ™‚

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  2. Thanks! You’re right, failure is a necessary part of learning anything new. The funny thing is, at the time (in high school) I couldn’t recognize my fear for what it was. I probably shrugged it off, told myself various excuses why trying something new would be a terribly bad idea, and then avoided thinking about it again. I don’t think I could accurately identify fear in myself until I became a parent at 20! I don’t know if that is normal development or my own special emotional dysfunction slowly improving over time. ๐Ÿ˜€ Either way, I pay much more attention to my emotions now and I make an effort to honor my feelings and desires as I would those of any loved one. Not stomping on dreams and discouraging myself before even making an attempt!

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